9.21.2013

LOVE


Since being newly married, I've been thinking a whole lot about a topic that engulfs our lives. A topic that holds great importance to me, and a topic that should encompass everyone across the world. This topic is that of LOVE. You see, i'm kind-of, sort-of studying love. My major is marriage & family studies and so many of my days involve digging deep down inside the human mind, and my own self, about what love really truly means.

I don't know who's reading this. I don't know if anyone is. But if you do happen to be, I know that you have spent your life longing for love. Whether you embrace the fact, or you know that you do it subconsciously, you all do. And it's okay, because you're wired to be that way and to think that way - it's in your DNA. But why? Why do you long for love? It's because relationships matter.

Whether developing your first crush in elementary, loving your parents, friends and family, your first relationship, or even just the deep care you feel for those surrounding you, relationships are beautiful and deep, and are what we thrive on.  Marriage, partnership and courtship are all part of human nature. Becoming a doctor, lawyer, dentist, firefighter, policeman or an engineer are all ways to support our selves, but love is what makes life truly enjoyable and brilliant.

I think that most are familiar with the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I read it last year. I didn't love the book as a whole, but I loved little bits and parts of it. It had a lot of really great insights regarding individuality, self-discovery and love. I've been thinking a lot about this whole concept of "accepting the love we think we deserve." (a quote from the book) because I think that a lot of us do this.
In high school I sometimes wondered what was in the books for me, if I would ever marry the man of my dreams, if that respectful and chivalrous man who opens doors, has goals and dreams, and lives the gospel really exists. I knew that these qualities were things that I wanted, but I hadn't met anyone with them. (was I being too picky?) I am overwhelmed by gratitude because I was so lucky to end up with the man of my dreams. Before Tyler, I dated a lot of guys that I wouldn't have married. But I dated them. I didn't find "You marry the people you date" very encouraging because I didn't want to marry any of the guys I dated. I remember feeling discouraged thinking that I would surely have to settle. 

I oftentimes overhear girls expressing the concern that they are sick of the same old story. Sick of being mistreated, cheated on and stabbed in the back. Unfortunately, I believe that we think we deserve a lot less than what we really do. Each one of us have different lives, challenges, and experiences that shape us into who we are and what we believe. There have been times in my life where I have felt confident, strong and sure of myself. There have also been times where I have struggled and had trials where I could barely get myself out. I've had people tear me down and then people build me up. I've had great supportive friends, but I've also been greatly hurt from those I love most. And I've had great boyfriends as well as unhealthy relationships that just weren't right. What I have thought I deserved throughout life has changed according to the circumstances in that very moment. It's funny that how we are treated oftentimes determines what we think we deserve. 

Love is a spectacularly beautiful thing. Girls, you are all entitled to love. You are all entitled to feel the beauty within relationships like I do with my husband. If you don't feel it now, be patient. It all works out and I wish that I would have listened when people told me that because IT DOES. This life is fragile. Too fragile to be overly guarded, too fragile to treat those you love poorly, and too fragile for regret. We've all been mistreated, underestimated, ignored and denied the love we probably deserve. Forgive. Forget. And love unconditionally. It works out. I never knew what it felt like to be loved like I do now.


all images Stephanie Sunderland Photography

5 comments:

  1. Gosh I love your blog :) such a sweet couple <3
    God bless you both...

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    1. Thank you for the lovely Comment :) soooo sweet! I love meeting friends in the blogging world.

      Have a great and sunny day,
      Apfelblütchen

      You::Me::Us::Forever

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  2. i LOVE this! And you guys are a beautiful couple!

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    1. Thanks Susie!! That's so nice of you to say. :)

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